Rob Linds & Larz

end to this blog

2009-11-24T07:40:00.000-08:00

I will be starting a new blog. And yes, I will be keeping up with it. I am choosing to be more personal with this one due to certain idiots leaving comments on my blog that were rude and they dont even have names. Also, As you all know, rob and I are not together and have not been for alomst a year now so I think the name is not applicable anymore. I do have a heart, trust me. So, until then, here is my new blog site, which is not up and running yet. http://lindseyandlarzypants.blogspot.com/ Love you all. :) p.s. send me your email addresses so I can add you. linzeppelin@gmail.com

best costume ever

2009-11-07T15:13:00.000-08:00

My mom is the coolest most genius mom around. She whipped up my costume in record time. I am so proud of her! She made it from scratch along with my friend jacquies mermaid costume. No patterns. I talked up my costume and delivered. Thanks mom. My roommate had a circus themed birthday party. I was obviously the half man half woman, and there were all kinds of crazy costumes there. There are ton more photos but ill just put few up.

2009-11-03T17:55:00.000-08:00

Life is crazy!!! Sheesh. I am the worst blogger in the universe and I really dont care whatsoever. I dont have time to blog, or do anything for that matter. but life is good.

I am feeling so heavy with the world . I just want to tell everyone that I've been dealing with to relax and lower their expectations a little. Why do we as humans even have to have them? Like you are really going to die if they are not met. Its traggic. Life can be simple. Life can be sweet. But making a huge deal out of everything will not help the process.

Larz is talking like hes a 15 yr old and it scares the living daylights out of me. he is now trying to negotiate the rules. He says the funniest things sometimes. Rob took him trick or treating because I had a wedding to shoot. He was superman. I was sad I missed him in his costume. ): he is taking a bath right now and making truck noises and playing with his blocks. I once filmed him bathing when he was tiny. I posted it up in my first blog pages. He was so small and beautiful. Life has changed so much since then. I can barely believe how different everything is. Now he is a little boy, even more beautiful. I am so in love with him and his development.

The leaves are falling. . . I love the feeling in the air. I feel ready for a change. I wish I could move to the trees. I need simplicity so badly. I want to step backwards, open a closet and shut myself inside. I want to do something different. I love photography but I want to make it more than what it is. Add something. I just wish I could have some exposure to some difference. some diversity. Some raw form of something. Im ready for the next step to my journey. I can feel it coming. . . and it feels exciting. Here are some recent photos ive taken.

2009-10-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

Goodmorning friends and family! I hope all is well in everyones beautiful little worlds. :) Larz and I are eating pancakes and watching goonies for the 10th time. He is in love with this movie. Go figure. His little mind is suprising me on a daily basis. He is talking so much and has quite a personality on him. I am so proud of him. He has such good manners and is such a great helper. Besides being a little tornado and leaving a mess wherever he goes, he's a great little kid. Sometimes I look at him and get sad that I can't hold him on my lap and play with his little feet and kiss them while he laughs. If I try that now he screams and kicks. I'd probably get a black eye or broken nose. He still sometimes sits on my lap or tells me to hold him. Those are nice moments. We were at the grocery store the other day and everyone that walked by would get a "hi!" and a little high five from him. He will talk to anyone. If he sees someone with a beard or long hair he says "dude!" really loud. ha ha. I have no idea where that came from. I Carly is his favorite show and he loves to dance. He is actually a really good dancer. I take credit for that one. You should see his moves! I fall more in love with him everyday. He says the most interesting little things. I love my little man cub.

I have been beyond busy. Shoots everyday, weddings every weekend. I had a couple of vacations this last month. I went to San Fran to check it out with some friends and go to a music festival and then Utah to camp with some good friends of mine. I wanted to get away before the storm hit. :) I just got back from a wedding I shot in Orange County. It was the hardest wedding I have shot and the most expensive for sure. It was beyond beautiful. I hadn't seen the ocean in almost 3 years. What an amazing thing. there is no comparison to the feeling I get when I sit on the beach or walk along the shore.

My Maple is getting a brand new engine. I cant wait to have her back and in better shape. It gives me butterflies whenever I think about it. :)

Ill post some pics of Larzy soon when I take some. I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry if I've been a bit absent. I'll post more often.

2009-09-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

I have had it with this age. I dont know how or why moms go through this 2 3 4 5 6 7 times. He is contantly saying no. Constantly disobeying me. constantly saying "mine". I cant sit for 2 seconds. I cant get any work done. I never have a clean house. I dont know how to use a drill gun or I would have solved alot of my problems with doors and cabinets. I have such a curious out of control michevious child. I am so tired after one day with him. Im never doing this again. Ever. but ....I love him. Sigh.

annual girls trip

2009-09-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

My dear friends (married couple/musicians/comedians) own a bunch of land up in alpine and built their own little cabin together. We go there every year. Well this year we had a heard of women with us. All strong. All beautiful. All unique. all Creative in every way. My best friend Julia just got her masters degree in psychology and found out right before the trip that she got a job in Washington as a professor to teach. We were all very proud of her and cried a lot. We just cried a lot period. I have THE MOST amazing women in my life. We love hard and play hard. Each one is so amazing and different. I laughed so hard I should have had a heart attack, I cried, I danced my heart out, I sang, I ate, I loved. I brought my play dresses and had some girls put them on and frolic around. it started raining in the aspens and I called for a dance break. I blasted some reggae music and all of us danced in the rain. I felt like a witch. ha ha. I loved every second of it. Every second. this is what friendship is supposed to feel like. period. You say what you feel. You love who you love and show them. You appreciate nature and the gifts we have around us. . . I was very happy.

2009-08-18T22:34:00.000-07:00

I am up in Cottonwood with my two dear friends. Today while one was in Flagstaff we dressed up and did a photo shoot of eachother. Today was vintage pin up style and tomorrow is earthy 60s. I had so much fun today in Jerome and running around. We sit under the stars and talk and laugh until the wee hours of the morning. Larz is in Chicago with Rob right now so I'm taking a much needed vacation. sigh. life is hard. ha ha. Here is a sneak peek.

good times

2009-08-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

I actually went bowling and finally came to terms with the fact that I'm the worst bowler around.I went with my friends from high school and had a blast. Then went with my roommate last night to check out this band that I've heard about. Greyhound Soul. They stripped me dry. They moved me. They were amazing. Period. Both her and I were just closing our eyes and soaking it in. I love that I have her in my life. She appreciated music like I do. It was a great great time.

seriously?

2009-08-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

This is where I will be shooting my wedding this December. And now like 4 of my friends are coming so its now a vacation! I need it.

update

2009-08-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

SO larz has his cast on. He's so cute. Bathing is interesting with him. .ha. He is constantly changing the movies out of the dvd player...singing to himself...dancing...talking...playing. . he's great. He's also ALOT to handle lately. What an age. :) He's going back to Chicago next week with Rob. I'm so happy that hes going back. He's at the age where he can have fun with is cousins and really get to know robs mom and sister. Last time we went he was smaller and not as fun. Now they will really get a feel for his little personality and fall in love with him even more. :)

Ryen Started 1st grade. I cannot believe it. She is getting so old and she takes my breath away every time I see her pictures. Larz reminds me of her so much. They look so much alike. I love my little ones.

I am staying busy with my work. I just booked a wedding in cancun and I am SO excited about it. I love that I get to do what I love to do. I am still busy all of the time. I love my house and my roommate. i love having people over for dinner. I love my friends and the love they give me. they have been there for me so much this last year. My family as well.

Everything is starting to look better. More beautiful. I am Me and I'm happy. Life is good.

life

2009-07-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

Larz fractured his wrist the other day. So now we are gimpy together. ha. He gets a cast next week and you better believe its going to be green like his mommys. He is constantly running into walls, falling, etc. He is a pure clutz, like his mom. I dont know if Rob was clutzy when he was little but I'm sure that I was from the stories. He's bound to be a speed demon and a clutz between rob and I. Great. ha. I will post some pictures next week after he gets his cast.

and in the mean time.....i love my roommate. ..this is a regular day with us...and here is how I've been getting around.

2009-07-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

~The better your mind gets as totally immersing itself in what you are doing, the less you will be plagued by distractions, desires, and fragmentation-and the more satisying your daily existence will become.~

Sounds so easy huh? ha.
I had a beautiful experience last night.

Through my own healing process, which hasn't been coming along to well, I realized I needed help. I have good days and bad days but more bad lately.
I have a problem dwelling on the negative things, especially when they are so apparent and suffocating. This pain has been so strong and controlling. When things change out of nowhere and cause your whole life to be turned upside down in an instant, it is hard to adjust to.

Having said that. ...

I asked my friend Lindsay to help. She is amazing. She has a heart so pure and beautiful and kind. She is my friend first and also my yoga instructor. She has also placed a child for adoption so we are very very close. We just get eachother. Anyways. She came over last night.

She brought little candles and a relaxing cd. She had me do some stretching and rubbed my neck while I was doing it. Then I layed down. Closing my eyes and breathing in and out she helped me to calm down and think in the now of what was going on focus on my heart center. We as humans hold alot of emotions in our bodies in certain areas. We literally store them in there without even realizing it. Our pain, trauma, our fear. Most of it is stored under our pelvis and throughout our hips. It may sound crazy to some but I believe in this.

Without getting into this too much, I will say this. She had me do an excersice that is meant to release you of that stored away emotion and pain. boy oh boy. I was cryin like a baby. I still had a wall up though so it was controlled somehow. I hate that stupid mental wall that my mind causes.

After that I relaxed and meditated with her help. She can always get me to amazing places. I was laying in a field of aspen trees with the sunlight bouncing all over my face. The trees were swaying over my head and I was content. She rubs this stuff on you that smells so good and fresh. I then went into this hole in space and came out on the other side of it to nothing but black and stillness. I found my ball of energy floating around me and tucked it inside of my heart. It was big and yellow and swirling with furry and power. That was an amazing feeling being out there with nothing to think about but your reason for being.

She gave me a montra: "forgive me I'm sorry, thank you I love you" Which can be applied to anything or anyone but it hit home with me.

After she pulled me out of my little mediation she had me write in my journal. She then gave me a little vision board that she made herself in thought of me. There are little clippings and sayings and pictures all over it. Things like "strong spirit, .....What time weakens, nature can strengthen,......the time is right to change radically, ......Uncover your true self,.....into the wild, ......My mind became very still and clear, like a mountain lake, and there was a feeling of starting fresh" I love that. I started crying as I was reading all of these things and wrapped my arms around her. Who does that?! She's amazing. Then she made me cava tea and we layed out under the trees and watched the lightening. Amazing.

It is time to change and be happy. I need to accept my life as it is and love love love it. I am so powerful and beautiful inside and my outward self is not projecting that at all. Life happens. Heartache happens. It is what it is.
I need to focus on the now of things and stop getting so distracted.

2009-07-06T18:02:00.000-07:00

I am full of raw emotion and an overwhelming desire to run wild through the forest. ..as usual. I Bathed in the moonlights rays last night with the wind all around me in the desert. . . . I let my thoughts run wild, as well as my hair. I felt like flying in my sea of peace that was unraveling before me, spinning in circles..spreading out my arms and making my shadow on the desert floor known..taking over the night sky and never coming down...The air was cool and my heart was open. My soul automatically soaks in things like this so much its insane.. ..Man I really wanted to fly....

My life is my own. Existence is purpose. Progression is natural. Lessons are learned so progression is more possible.

I am so consumed with this life and the expectations of it all. It's enough to drive an old soul like mine straight into the ground. Things should be simple, beautiful, delicate. I am finding that they are none of the above lately.

I am being pulled to my limit and my eyes are opening. I am finding more lindsey juice in this old bag of bones and its strong and ready to fight. But what battle do I want to fight if any? The battle to be successful or the battle to be content, happy, and simple like I have always been. ??? random. random thoughts.

I want to take a break. Live in a simple home somewhere in the woods, preferably next to running water. I want to read as much as I can, write until my hands break.... take pictures with my 45 Polaroid of things that don't have opinions like leaves and their beautiful veins and trees.... make lentil soup... pick at my banjo barefoot in a meadow of some kind....stare at larz while he plays with rocks by the water and sing him to sleep...grow my hair out long and remember how dumb it REALLY is to wear labels of any kind...Let my heartache thats deep inside oooze out into the forest ground to be replaced with peace and contentment....focus on nature with my photography like I've always wanted to do, that is the reason I started doing it in the first place...hang my clothes on line and play hide and seek with my man cub....the list could go on and on. What can I say? I'm a day dreamer.

Welcome home!

2009-06-27T22:26:00.001-07:00

My sister and her family have finally moved home! I am sad that I can't go up the Seattle again and have her there but we are all so happy to have them back. Technically, she and the kids are back so far. They flew in tonight and Jake is coming soon with his dad and all of their things. Its been a very very long time since all of us girls have lived in the same state all at once. I think like 10+ years or something crazy like that. Its feels nice to have my girls so close. My family went to the suprise her as she got off of the plane. I was scooting around everywhere on my sorry excuse for transportation. My sister Dara can't handle seeing me on it. She just laughs everytime I roll by. Anways. We love you guys and are SOO happy you are home.

2009-06-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

Larz and Kylee are inseparable. He begs for her all day, all night, as soon as he wakes up, etc. Whenever they are together I get a break and so does my sister kind of. Anyways. They are best buddies.

2009-06-19T12:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm pretty much the biggest moron in the world. I've been living in a handicapped world for the last 11 days. I went to Jerome for the afternoon to get some freash air and at the end of the day I decided to be an idiot. I was all happy and skipping around the town and I went up some stairs and thought.."hm, I'm going to slide down this rail and its going to be SO fun" ...so I did. I caught way too much speed and went flying off the end like a bat out of hell. I landed on my right heel causing it to break. My heel bone shot up into my ankle bone. I sat down and held my ankle in pain. I didn't cry but I did know something was wrong. I got some help across the street from some stranger. the next day I went to see my brother in law (he's a chiropractor) and he did an xray. I couldn't get the best angle with his machine but he was able to see a little of what was going on. I had a partial dislocation as well so he popped that back into place. It really didn't hurt that bad. I went on the next few days, chasing larz around, doing my shoots, and just being crazy like usual. It still hurt really bad. So I finally went to the Urgent care and got another xray. this time I could get into the position that was needed and it showed that I had a broken heel. the following day I went to an actual foot dr and he wanted to give me a Cat Scan but due to the fact that I'm in between insurance's I couldn't afford that. he said that he would give me a temporary cast for 3 weeks but he really wants to see if I would need to surgically have it fixed since there are fragments of bone floating around in my foot. So here I am, with a two year old, wearing a giant cast, working and relying on my mother more than ever. ha ha. I hope I won't need surgery. I got this push cart thing this morning and its awesome. I can move really really fast. I'm still in a lot of pain but I'm just happy to be able to move around. I feel for those who have had foot/leg problems. Its very hard to do regular things and not be very very tired at the end of the day. I am still doing my shoots/weddings. I have to bring home the bacon for me and my man cub. Sigh.

Home

2009-06-12T12:23:00.001-07:00

We all got together for My parents anniversary over at their place. I love their house. The photos of the garden don't even jusitfy and thats only one of her many gardens. we had so much fun eating burgers and horsing around on the side yard. My parents are so in love...its great. It felt so nice to sit back there and feel the breeze and talk and laugh. I love my family.

2009-06-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

My sweet baby boy. Sigh. He is in a sticker phase. Sometimes in the morning we'll go outside and chill together. Yesterday he was sticking his little stickers all over the lawn chair and his belly. He had a milk mustache and his little reptile skin from the rash remains. I just love my little butter ball.

my place

2009-06-10T09:34:00.000-07:00

Here are a few shots from my new place. There is still so much I want to do with it. For one, paint everywhere, change out curtains, hang art, etc. But I am just so in love with it. It has so much character and it was meant for me. The kitchen light is awesome and I love when I do the dishes I can see out to my patio/garden. I love sitting on my long vintage couch and watching movies. And I love love love playing records. sigh. The record room will be a seperate room with big curtains hanging and open to distinguish the spaces. I'm going to get a vintage chandelir to hang and it will be awesome. These are the before photos and there is still so much house.

2009-06-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

Hey all. I'm sorry I haven't had any cool posts lately. I'm so busy and up to my neck with editing, shoots, a two year old on crack, ha, and now a screwed up foot. I am limping around like a moron and wearing a boot and a cane. I slid down a stair railing and fell on my heel in a very very very bad way, causing one of my bones to slide up into my ankle, particially dislocating my foot. My brother in law is a chiropractor and he took some xrays. He tried to pop it back into place. Man oh man. I shouldn't act like a child like I do and slide down stair cases yelling "weeeee". I need to grow up. ha ha. Larz is doing really well. He and I took a nap together today and it was beautiful. It was our first nap together since he was a baby baby. I changed a poopy diaper today and when I pulled up his pants he said "thanks mamma" and put his arms around me. I had a nice chuckle over that. I'll pay someone to potty train him. I'm terrified of bringing that into my life too. HOpefully he taked to it well. I'm going to start in a couple of weeks. He is still dealing with his rash, poor guy. He is talking so much. I just love his little soul.

I am hoping to be back to normal within the next few weeks. Its like the worst timing for this to happen. I'm a moron. I'll start posting cooler things soon. peace.

2009-06-02T08:00:00.001-07:00

Wow. I wish I could wake up to a suprise like this every morning. How did he know that broken eggs all over my furniture and carpet is my favorite thing? Sigh.

life is grand. sike.

2009-06-01T15:23:00.001-07:00

I had a long wedding yesterday but it was cool. The bride took my breath away constantly with her long black hair and beautiful blue eyes. She was so ridiculously beautiful. Her brides maids were all straight from the pages of a fairy tail story. I showed up with my pencil skirt barely hiding my bruise covered legs, my flat chest and my armpits already sweating. Hi, I'm professional, nice to meet you.

Seriously. I have the most insane life. Larz is covered in a rash again with no doctor to give him a cure . . He looks like hell and is constantly itching himself all over. I like watching him itch himself. Its funny but sad at the same time. I just got home from going to the doctor and I get here and figure out that I'm locked out. The key isn't the same as all of the others on the bottom of our back doors. So here I am in the heat, with a bright red splotchy little two year old throwing dirt at me and trying to see how wet he can get me with the hose. sigh. I told him to crawl through the doggy door and he did and the little genius opened the door right up. Thats right, he's a genius. He was up pretty much all night crying and itching and making me sleep in his bed. I would try to creep away but then 20 minutes later I would have little hands on my shirt pulling and saying "come on mamma". I hated the sun this morning.

By now all of my clients hate me because their photos are all late. But hey, I'm only one person with one finger to edit with. If only I had a wand..hm. I ask myself everyday why I'm even trying to be responsible when clearly I can't handle the heat. It is what it is and I'm not your typical "business woman". I'm real and I have a really crazy life and I'm doing the best I can.End of story.

2009-05-26T14:38:00.000-07:00

I got to see my daughters dad, Sonny this morning. He called me to tell me he was in town and wanted to see me and give me a present for mothers day. Well this is what I got and I freakin love it. Megan, Ryens mom has amazing taste and she just knows me way too well. ha. Its an old vintage dress in mint condition and its silky and fits like a glove. How does she do that? Well, thank you so much my love. You're amazing. And thanks SOnny for coming over to see me. Love you guys way too much.

For she's a jolly good fellow!!!!!

2009-05-21T15:09:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends since high school is a genuis. She has been in Holland for the last 7 months finishing up school. She just got back and graduated with a masters degree. I am SOO proud of her. Beyond proud. Well she got home and we all threw a suprise party for her with all of her closest friends and family. She was shocked when she came threw the door. It was pricelss. That turned into a pool party and that was a blast. All of the girls went country dancing because thats just what we like to do. WE had a blast there too. And then we went to the lake on Sunday with her parents and had so much fun together. I was too chicken to get up on a wake board. I am naturally clutzy so I knew the end of that story. I stuck with the tube. And that scared the crap out of me. Then we celebrated some more at Jacquie's bothers house and danced our pretty behinds off. I loved the Weekend of Julia!!

2009-05-19T21:37:00.001-07:00

I am in a very strange mental spot right now. . Life has taken a hold of me and wrapped me in its whirlwind of confusion and frustration for the moment. I am in the middle of moving, shooting on a daily basis, and watching a little boy 3 days a week along with larz. I have always had it good. I have always had days where I say "what should I do today?" Those days are long gone and substituted with an overwhelming schedule. Some days I want to give up and lay in bed all day and tell Larz to give himself a bath and get himself dressed..I want to command my computer to edit all of my photos and respond to my full inbox... But my burning desire to succeed and be a successull single mother is too powerful to let me lay my head down. It is SO hard being a mom. Almost everyday it is hard for me. He is two and all over the place. I can't turn my back for one minute without something happening. Its hard to get everything done that is waiting to be done with him around. But having him around is what makes me happy. He's all I have. He's all I need. And he needs me and he's reliying on me to be his teacher. I ask myself everyday "How in the world am I a mother?.....I shouldn't be aloud to do this" ha. But I'm doing it dang it.

After a long day of moving another load, unpacking, trying to bribe him to eat, sleep, and just plain be a good boy for mommy, it was his bed time. After the fifth time of hearing his door creek open after putting him down I decided to lay with him. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to adjust to having mom here and dad there and this house and then that house. I always forget about how he feels.. I stopped myself from getting mad at him for not going to bed and just layed with him. the night light was on in the corner, lighing up his beautiful blue eyes. There were no sounds from either of us, just the soothing ground fan in the background. He got as close as possible to me and we both layed on our sides facing eachother. He grabbed my hand and held it and looked up at me. He stared at me with such a peaceful expression. When I would smile a little at him he would smile back. When I closed my eyes he reached over and put his little hand on my face to tell me to open them back up so he could stare at me. This silent staring contest went on for about 20 minutes..I carressed his face to help his tired eyes rest. He let go of my hand and grabbed a peice of my hair and put it around his little fingers and leaned in and gave me a kiss. Without letting my hair go, he softly closed his eyes. He looked alot like he did when he was first born at that moment. Simply beautiful and mine. I fell in love with him all over again tonight. Days are beyond hard with my little man cub, but when its all said and done, he's meant for me and I'm meant for him. . Goodnight.

2009-05-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

My girfriends son turned 2 yesterday and she had an awesome party for him. The pictures tell it all. ha. I love my Larzy.

larz

2009-05-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

He had stickers stuck all over him from playing with his cousin kylie. He passed out right when I started driving. those two are hilarious together.

Dave Matthews

2009-05-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

My girl friend Aurora called me later in the day and said "hey, wanna go see Dave play tonight? I have an extra ticket and its free" I almost jumped out of my skin with excitement. "uh, yes please!!!" I love Dave Matthews. I was interested to see who would take over the sax since Leroi passed away. Well whoever it was, he was amazing. We took this before the show. I was so stoked to leave I couldn't keep still. ha. the concert was amazing. I wore this one piece jump suit and it was probably the best thing ever invented. You cant get better than goucho's (sp?) and a tube top combined in one and made out of towel like material. She wore this crazy asain looking rice pickers hat. Only Rori. ha Anyways. I was dancing all over the sea of people. I lost my shoes somewhere along my dancing trail. So did Rori. She was all over the place. At teh end they came out for the encor and they played the watchtower but at the end of it they somehow tied in the jimmy page solo from stairway to heaven. When that happened I almost pooped my pants. It was incredible.

tear jerker

2009-05-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

I found this blog today and the woman is very open with her adoption story. She is so full of love its unreal. Its the cutest blog and they are truly amazing people. Her best friend (the fairy god mother) made this for them when they were about to become parents. http://bohemiangirldesigns.blogspot.com/ I love stories like this one.

Slice of Heaven

2009-05-05T07:44:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I decided it was a good idea to set one day aside in the future to go on an adventure for myself. Well I set the 2nd aside and even though I could've scehduled a shoot and made some money on that day, I kept my promise to myself. and oh boy am I glad I did! I have been so busy lately and I don't seem to have enough time for it all. I have lost a little of myself somewhere in this photography strangulation. ha. Some of my friends and I drove to fossill springs and hiked the whole way in. I had never been to the actual springs, only the creek. No hiking, just park and relax type of thing. This was totally different. It was a very long hike with unbelievable views. I felt like I was back at Anasazi again. ha. I was in awe the entire time. Once we reached the water I just couldn't take it anymore. But we weren't to our destination yet. Then you heard it. The waterfall. SIIIGGGHHHH. It was so amazing. We hiked down near it to meet our friends already laying out on rocks and playing with the dog. It was so amazing. I was so happy. Going under the giant waterfall was unreal. It was so loud and powerful. The hike out couldn't of been longer. After the 4th mile I wanted to jump right off the cliff and say screw it. Once I reached the car I was so proud of this lazy sack of bones.

2009-05-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

You all know that I love my parents house and yard. Even getting out of my car today I was overwhelmed by the jasmine and its powerful aroma roaring through my nostrils, along with every other flowery scent..It was a delicious thing. I did a little shoot there today for a 1 year old (who was simply perfect). When her mom got out of the car she went on about the smell and the beauty and then asked if my parents did all of the landscaping alone. I laughed and then turned to my mom and told her and she laughed. They are probably the only people left that do it all alone and love it. It shows. But before that I took a picture of one of the hundreds of flowers my mother cares for and loves. Sigh. Thumbs up mom. Martha Stuart aint got nothin on you! ha.

Growing up.

2009-05-04T20:55:00.001-07:00

Dude can I be ANY busier?!!!! Sheesh. I have some catching up to do. But first and foremost, I need to do a shout out to my little ray of sunshine. She turned 6 yesterday. I can't believe that. Its seems like yesterday when she was kicking me in my ribs, making me pee 10 times a night and making me eat 5 bowls of honeycombs a day. ha. She changed my life and she owns my heart. I am so lucky to have such a beautiful soul in my life. I think she wanted to go to the woods or something for her birthday so her parents took her! They are so awesome. I called their house yesterday to wish her a happy birthday and I got the answering machine. When it beeped I started crying and I could barely talk. I'm such a boob. I just love my little peach so much. Happy Birthday Ryen Olivia, my sweet little sunflower.

Here is a photo her mom sent me from her bday. Thanks Meg, I love you. (I stole this collage from her moms page. Its cute)

2009-04-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

sweet

2009-04-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

I love it when I shoot weddings and I get all mushy. Thats rare because I'm bitter but in this case, I was a cry baby. I didn't even know the family or even the bride and groom for longer than 6 months or so. But man I was a baby. Love was in the air so thick that I almost choked. In a good way. :) What a fun wedding. heres a sneak peek. More to come so check my photography blog sometime.

Helmet Head

2009-04-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning out my car, getting ready to bring it to the car wash and larz was playing around in my passanger seat. All of the sudden he jumps up really high, toward my windshield. This is the result. He's fine but now he has the name helmet head. Sigh.

2009-04-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

day with larzy

2009-04-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

I had two weddings over the weekend so I couldn't do anything with Larz on his birthday. So Sunday I took him to Schnepp Farms to ride the train and stuff. My good friend Becky and her son Trey came along. It was so freakin hot out there and I felt bad for him and his little red face. He loved the train and especially the animals. He tried to put his hat on the donkey and he was yelling at the flies to shoo. He's such a beautiful little soul. There waz this amazing field of flowers. What I would do for a field of flowers in my backyard. Sigh. It was funny because my dress was exactly the colors of the flowers. Love you larz!

Two and Terrific

2009-04-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

My dear Larz, Happy birthday to you my beautiful little trouble maker. Love you bright eyes, forever and ever.

much needed

2009-04-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

I have been going crazy without some form of nature in my life the past week. I am all of the time but it was so bad when I got home from vegas. Yesterday while dropping larz off at Robs I saw my best friend laying under a tree near my house. She rides her bike everywhere and jams out so I wasn't suprised. I went and layed next to her and sun bathed for a bit while enjoying some much needed conversation. I missed her. . Then I said "lets go! Lets get out of here!" So we did. We drove up to the river with the flute and guitar and our swimsuits. Oh it was awesome. I layed in the sun next to the beautiful river by side. We didn't bring our cameras so we used her little camera phone. I love that girl. I needed that so bad.

daydreaming part one

2009-04-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

Floating on my back in the river. Looking up to the sun for answers but only getting heat that is no match for the heat of my soul. Closing my eyes and hearing the rushing water underneath my body and wishing it would take the negative feelings away with it. They're heavy and bitter. They are pulling me under. I can't stop the weight from grounding me at the bottom. Sitting there contemplating. Somehow I can breath. Amazing. My hair is swirling around my face reassuring me that everything is beautiful and calm right at this moment. But the bad feelings are still lingering around me. They are hiding in the dark corners and under the rocks that line the river floor. Leave me alone. Coming up to the surface and standing on solid ground. I'm dry. Amazing. The wind sings its sweet nothings through my hair and I'm reassured again of the beauty around me. Taking a walk to find peace. Its such a game of hide and seek. We've been playing it for years. Its hiding in the tall grass where my little ones are playing. Chasing each other through thick sheets of laughter. There you are peace. I found you. Joining in the game of chase I feel the weight coming on. The dark clouds roll in and the weight is where they get their color. Grabbing their little hands and running. I love little hands. Hiding in a giant tree for shelter. The darkness wont find me there. Silent moments with 2 angels. wide eyed and beautiful. The storm passes. The sun breaks through. . .

Vegas

2009-04-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

I got home last night from Vegas. I went with my friend heather and some of her long time friends. They are all mothers of 3 and wives. But let me tell you, they know how to have a good time. I had so much fun with them. Vegas isn't my favorite place on the world. I would much rather be sitting in the middle of a forest barefoot, but there comes a time when it feels good to dance my heart out and put some heels on. Actually, I take that back. I hate high heels so much. My feet look like they were munched on by a hungry camel. I wore some really cute red ones and like 30 minutes later I thought I was going to die. I changed them and then felt better. How do girls wear those things? ha. Clearly suicidal. Anyways. It was freezing there with 40mph winds so we spent most of our time inside or in taxi's. Being in casinos for too long makes me head pound and my eyes red from all of the smoke. But going outside was like being in a blizzard. I wanted to lay out and accidentally run into jonny dep or Leo and the rest is history!ha The last time I was in Vegas I was getting purposed to and so giddy. It was hard for me to go back. I did the best I could to ignore certain spots but it was hard. bla bla. And by the last day I couldn't even think about Larz without getting a knot in my stomach and tears in my eyes. The girls and I had a really good time. I laughed so much. I forgot I was with mothers for a while. Thanks girls, you're crazy and I love you. You really get a feel for the worldly things when you're there. The money, the clothes, the vip ropes that decide your importance, everything. Its so ridiculous. I was going up the escalator and the young girl in front of me was wearing this tiny little dress and one of her butt cheeks was hanging out. I said "excuse me hun, you're dress is up" thinking she maybe stepped out of the bathroom and didn't know. She turned around with her attitude coming at me like a hurricane and said "It's supposed to be like that....B*****" haha I laughed and apologized for trying to help. Poor girl. I wish I was that classy and I especially wish I could get the guy she's going to get with that dress code and attitude. we have a winner here folks! ding ding ding. Idiot. I'm happy I'm home. I'm happy I have friends who like to have a good time and have children. Lord knows we need it every now and then. I'm happy I have Larz and man oh man he is so perfect it makes me nauseous. I'm happy I dont like high heels and more importantly that my feet won't allow those things on them. Thanks feet.

2009-03-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

I was watching True life on Mtv the other day and it was about girls who were pregnant and possibly placing their babies for adoption. I always have a hard time watching those kinds of things because I've been through it but thats why I like watching them. Its real and I like to see others stories. In this case there were two girls. both young and unmarried and lost in life. One girl was pretty set on it but once she had the baby everything changed. I understood exactly what she felt and felt for her. She kept the baby for a week or so and then decided to place her. It is an open adoption and she sees her every other week. Lucky duck. :) Seeing the moment of her handing her daughter over made me cry my big eyes out. I didn't even know this girl and I was so proud of her for doing it. She went on to go to school and her life was beautiful and her daughter was still a part of it. The other girl was also planning to place but the father wasn't for it. He didn't have a job and lived with his parents with his child from a previous relationship. The girl chose a couple and got to know them. Her boyfriend somehow talked her out of it and she had the baby and farely soon after having her she left. She left the couple broken hearted and most importantly, she left her daughter. I was so freakin mad at this girl I could've broken the tv screen. It showed her having a smoke and living with friends and just not caring and saying how she just isn't ready to be a mom. I was dumbfounded. That little girl could've had a family who loved her and showed her family values and now she is stuck with a dead beat dad and no mother. I felt so bad for the baby. And I was so angry with that mother for being so selfish. anyways. Just thought I would vent a bit.

2009-03-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

my little tank.

update

2009-03-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

I am busy covering him in kisses and laughing at his wanna be sentences. He is busy strumming his nostril while he holds the other one shut playing his self made music. Genius. The weather is turning and my soul is trying to jump out of my body and run to the rivers. Or should I say float? Hopefully my soul would be the kind to skip joyfully from point a to point b without this shell of a body it lives in. :) Larz is the size of a 3 year old with the strength of a 10 year old. He cal lift anything. I have weights in the living room and he is always picking the 3lbs up and lifting them up and down like mommy. He's my little giant. He is getting used to being with mommy and then going with daddy, which I was worried about. He sometimes cries when we trade and it hurts. I never wanted it to be this way but its for the best.

He can sing the whole intro to sponge bob all by himself. His words are not clear but man he tries. His arm swings make up for it. We were jamming out yesterday in my car and I changed the radio station. That song by pink was on and he yelled "no!" so I changed it to classic rock and he smiled and started doing his shoulder moves. Thats my boy. classic rock till I die!

I'm so busy with photography its insane. I finally got my LLC and tax number business account, bla bla bla. SO I'm official and theres no hiding now. ha. I dont mean to sound big headed but I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come. I remember almost 5 years ago I was just getting started with this whole hobby and now I'm where I'm at, doing it for a living I"ve learned so much and that never stops.

The time is just around the corner to release. The trees are blooming, the sun is warming, and the rivers are waiting. I always get so excited this time of the year. Soon I will be running through fields of aspen trees in my long dresses, floating on my back down a river, laying in an ocean of waist high grass and laughing with my friends on the front porch of a cabin where the wind chimes are the loudest I've ever heard them. I love the summer.

shoot with Maple

2009-03-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

So I feel like a nerd posting these but I LOVE them so much! Like I said before, I have never done a shoot really and it was so much fun! I acutally look like a normal human being and not like the mutant that I am in my mind. ha. I brought my favorite vintage clothes and they were exactly what this shoot needed. Thank you Jaquie for doing such a beautiful job. Love you mermaid. :)

Me and my Maple

2009-03-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

I did a photo shoot with my car yesterday. I have never been on the other end of the camera and I thought I would hate it but I loved it. I brought some of my favorite vintage dresses and went out by the super stition mountains. My friend Jaquie took them and she's amazing! we had so much fun. here are two to preview and LOTS more to come!

30 days baby

2009-03-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

I bought this a few days ago and I love it. I consider myself to be in good shape but I've always wanted to tone my buns and my stomach after having 2 kids. This program kicks my butt! Its only 20 minutes of your whole entire life. i've done it consistanly and i feel my stomach tightening and my arms getting stronger. I can't wait to see the results when I'm done. woo hoo!

Green Thumb

2009-03-07T11:39:00.000-08:00

I was over at my parents house this afternoon playing outside with Larz while my mom was picking out her ripe carrots from her garden, my dad was leaf blowing and my little brother was shoveling up dirt to start a new area for more produce for my mom. I love being over there this time of the year. My mom has tons of different kinds of flowers all over the place. They have every kind of fruit tree you could want and jasmine growing all around the fence. There are wind chimes everywhere and in the back there are my mothers gardens. Anything you want or need, she's got it. And shes goooood at it too. She has a major green thumb and I'm envious because everything I plant dies. ha ha. I picked out my favorite carrots and took them with me. I pulled my mom aside and told her that when her and my dad get old and die, I want the house. She laughed with her hands covered in dirt. I love her so much. I really do want their house. Who wouldn't want a huge yard, fruit trees, gardens and to top it off they have a restaurant booth in their kitchen for crying out loud. Anyways. I love the way my mom lives her life. Its so beautiful and I hope I can be like her at 50.

chuckle

2009-03-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

I should be in this instead of this guy. I love starbursts and would love to have one fed to me by a llama. sigh. so funny.

oh my heartbreaker

2009-03-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

He is my light in this life. I'm sitting her editing and he walks up with a bowl on his head and a smile on his face. He's talking so much. He was sitting here eating and he said "done mommy!" and then said "wanna go outside!". I couldn't help but eat his face for a minute after that. Oh lord I love this child. He's constantly saying "hi!" and waving to anyone and everyone. He says mommy so much and its so amazing to hear. (sometimes I don't want to hear it anymore after a long day) ha. I was driving the other day and he yelled at me so I told him to be nice in a low tone. . he then yelled "I WANT DADDY!" I love you my beautiful little man cub.

4whln

2009-03-03T09:20:00.000-08:00

I didn't have a shoot this last sunday and my friend Jaquie was is town so we went 4 wheeling. I hadn't been in so long. Her husbands uncle lives right by me and the queen creek wash is right behind his house. He has like 15 quads and boats, etc. I got the quad called "grampa". But it hauled to me. I was scared. It was good to be out in the sun with the wind in my hair. I'll post some stuff about Larz soon. I promise.

Oh sweet day

2009-02-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

I love my new secret weapon. . heres a glimpse into what I've been upto. well, atleast one of the things I've been doing. More to come so check out my photo blog.

FreeBirthing

2009-02-25T07:21:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard of this? I watched a documentary on it last night and it blew my mind. These ladies are serious warriors with no fear of anything. I could never do it because I would be too scared of something happening but not these ladies. They deliver their own babies. Just them and their husbands or partners or friends. They dont go to the hospital, they sit in a tub of water and push themselves, pull the baby out themselves, cut the cord, everything! NO midwife, dr, nurse. This one lady looked like she was just relaxing in the tub and out came her baby. She said nothing, didn't scream, cry or speak. She just pulled her daughter out and held her and cried softly. I cried while watching it because it was SO amazing. I've never seen such courage. I admire those woman who have given birth naturally with no pain medicine (shout out to my mom, my sister Dara and my friend amber) but I couldn't do it. I could but I didn't want to. ha. There was something so natural and beautiful about these women delivering their own babies. We as women have been doing this for centuries. In England it is illegal to do it alone. Even if you are in the room with the mother, you could be convicted of aiding in the act! How stupid. The dangers are real but man when it goes smoothly its something to watch. Too bad I'm not having any more kids or I would try it. Syke.

losing it

2009-02-24T20:13:00.001-08:00

between helping larz with his freakin breathing machine and cleaning up the dog poo from the dog I found, I feel like I'm losing it. . Its something every single day. I am getting rid of this dog. I am hoping larzys lungs will open up for him. Poor little guy. My flip flops are now in the dogs stomach and soon to be in my yard. . . little devil. ..My car is leaking everywhere and I'm tired. sorry. I'm venting. I need a vacation REALLY REALLY bad. I am feeling close to the point of no end. Bye.

Renaissance Festival

2009-02-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

I went yesterday with my best friend julia's mom Sue. She and I had SO much fun. I laughed so hard I almost threw up at one point. We got henna tattoos, we wore these mustaches that would not stay on, we met a tree man that made my top 20 scariest things I've ever seen list, ha, we pet an elephant, and more. There was a girl trying on this dress and it was for her wedding. He mom was taking pictures and both sue and I were both suprised. I've never seen a wedding with that kind of dress in it but power to you sista! It was a blast. I love you Sue!!

Family Time

2009-02-14T08:54:00.000-08:00

Tifani and Jake were here for the last week to visit. The circumstances were not what we wanted at all but it was so good to hug them and be there for them through this time. I love you guys. We had a birthday party for Payton and then last night my dad bbq'd and we all sat around the fire. I love my parents house. It was so nice to be with my sisters all at once. They are each so different and beautiful.

thick

2009-02-13T11:06:00.001-08:00

I'm feeling my veins sinking deeper into my skin in such a way that its comforting. I feel real and alive and raw. The need to take off full speed inside of a forest is ever so thick. Maybe I'll sit for a while and listen to my breath or count my arm hairs. Who knows. I want to be a hermit crab for while. I want to grow my hair out really long and paint my lips blood red. who cares. I think I'll throw my jewelry away too. Who needs it. I feel spring coming. I feel the change. Maybe I'll hide behind the pages of a good book or two. What is everything adding up to? Does there have to be an equation to every situation. I think I'll finally play my banjo. I think I'm ready to pull her out of her case after six long years. I decided that I don't like holidays. They are artificial and pointless. Can we not find anything better to do then that nonsesne? Especially valentines day. I don't eat chocolate and I don't like picked flowers anymore. Id rather have them rooted in a photo. I don't care for steak or small talk. I need a deep deep river of conversation. The kind that makes you heated and so calm and tired. Where are you? ?
I want to wear dresses for the rest of the year. I bought a couple the other day at an antique shop and I think I may keep them on consistently. who cares. why does everyone care about so many insignificant things? You are here for god knows how long and you care about this and that?!? I think its time to shed some skin and let the sun take me away. bye.

2009-02-11T11:32:00.000-08:00

I just saw this on my friends blog. It made me cry. thank you allie. I'm a dork for putting this on my blog but its just way too sweet.

"God was showing off when he made my friends".
Happy Birthday to my beautiful friend Lindsey.We go all the way back to the 3rd grade, and man were we naughty together.Our lives took us on separate paths once Junior High hit.There was no separation in our hearts though and we were reunited about 8 years later.

She has a crazy soul like mine, and to me that is the most perfect kind of soul.She's an amazing photographer, a strong mom, a nurturer, a lover of nature, a hippie at heart,an amazing friend, and a deep, wise, old soul. She loves art and can pull beauty out of anything.

She's a fighter, a survivor, some one to look up to. She has the most amazing, big, blue eyes and perfect smile! She has a calm, peaceful presence about her, but a soul and heart that burn with fire. She radiates love, beauty, craziness, wild, peace, uniqueness and tranquility.I love you Lindsey Lou! And I'm blessed to have you walking next to me in this life!

Oh Larz

2009-02-10T15:51:00.001-08:00

Anyone was has been around my Larz knows that he is the biggest clutz in the world. Just like his mamma. Well he fell into this big wooden toy chest the other day. He had the biggest goose egg right between his eyes. I was calling him cylopse. ha. Then he got into my make-up and decided he wanted wear my mascara and my blush. This is the outcome of both stories. sigh.

26

2009-02-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

I am 26 today. Where did the last 5 years go? sheesh. One minute I'm young, spicy and perky chested, and then next I'm turning 26, bitter and flat chested. Can't wait to see what my status is at 30.

.....

2009-02-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know if its inappropriate to make a post out of this but I just thought I would say a few things. .

Today I watched my sister and her husband burry their little baby Micah. He was so special and always will be. I have seen strength from my sister growing up with her, but nothing like I have seen in the last couple of days. She is my best friend and it really hurts so much to see her have to feel this in her life time. Her husband is probably the best husband I have yet to see. While staying up there in Seattle with them, I left feeling like he should win an award or something, and I feel even stronger after seeing his love for my sister throughout this. If every man was even a little like him, they would be a better man.

I don't have a lot of words right now except for this. .

I know that we will see him again someday. I know that my sister will be able to love her child physically like she deserves to someday. I know that if I think I'm having a hard day that I'm really not because I've never had to do what they have had to do. I know that I love my sister more than I ever have. I know that life is short and I will cherish every second I have with my family and friends, especially my son.

I love you so much Tifani.

Final chavasana

2009-02-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

Oh how I love this part of my yoga routine. Sigh. First I get all hot and sweaty and then I get a treat at the end that is so amazing everytime. Your "final Chavasana" is when you lay down at the very end of your routine and meditate. Its dark and there is beautiful music cradling you along with candlelight. (and Lindsay's massage skills) Last night Lindsay ( my yoga instructor) had some close friends over to do a yoga/wine/hot tun night again. I love those nights. I haven't done yoga in almost a month because my life has been so insane and its been hard to even find time to put a comb through my hair. :) Needless to say, last night was exactly what my soul needed. I've been to many places while meditating but this one my friends was the ultimate so far.

I was walking in a place kind of like anne of Green gables .It was sandy and there was really tall grass upto my waist. I was barefoot and walking up this pathway. Once I got upto the top, I looked out over an ocean of swaying flowers and the breeze was making my hair dance all over the place. I also saw out in the middle of it all, a HUGE tree. It was glowing and so mighty. I walked towards it with my hands touching every flower I could see. The feeling of calmness and peace was so strong, its almost like it was yelling at me if that makes sense. I layed in the flowers under this tree and felt so happy and whole. I needed nothing. I felt no stress. I felt no heartache. I was perfectly perfect. And then Lindsay slowly and lovingly pulled me out of that heaven, which I REALLY could've stayed in forever. I came to with a surety that everything I have been worrying about it so small and unimportant. I felt like it was all going to be ok.

Weekend

2009-01-26T16:16:00.000-08:00

One of my shoots over the weekend was shot out at the salt river. That day was so amazingly beautiful. I left a couple hours early so I could get some Lindsey time in. The girl was pregnant and I loved every second I had to work with her. The scenery was so perfect and the clouds were there just for me that day. I love it here. Here are a couple from the shoot. I'm nowhere near finished with my editing but I will post some on my photo blog when I'm done. :)

2009-01-25T19:49:00.000-08:00

I give up. I can't figure this stupid thing out. So, until I do, this is where to find me I guess.

ARGHH

2009-01-23T15:27:00.001-08:00

SO I did make a new blog but no one could comment on it so I had to make another one. I am doing it right now but here is the URL. http://lindsandthemancub.blogspot.com/

NEW BLOG

2009-01-22T21:06:00.001-08:00

Here is my new blog link. I wont be posting on this one anymore. I needed to change it so go here to keep up with my crazy life. http://lindsandlarz.blogspot.com/

Jakes Corner.

2009-01-21T21:37:00.000-08:00

Amy and I started this tradition a few years ago on a rainy day. We drove up the b-line to see my best friends-mothers grave and to say hello. On the way there we stopped at this hole in the wall bar called "jakes corner". we played the jukebox and met all kinds of people. While there we met this old man named Bill. We call him Blue eyes. He and his best friend were there together and they mentioned how they had no pictures of the two of them. So I took one, wrote down old bill's address and mailed the pictures to him that week. I never knew if he ever had gotten them. Well, the other week I called my girls up and said lets go to jakes corner, lets get out of here. So we went. And guess who was sitting up at the bar with his motorized wheel chair behind him?? Bill. It had been almost 3 years since we had seen him. He saw us and started to cry and wouldn't take his hands off of us. He thanked us for the photos. We danced, played music, talked, ate beans and hot dogs and made sure that he knew how much we loved him. He cried a lot that day. There was a movie made there too and everyone is the bar was proud of that. There was one lady who told us she was famous for the line "Beans are up!" ha ha. After our time there we went up the road and I stopped and talked to my best friends mother. It was raining and beautiful and the clouds were low. I miss her. It was a nice afternoon drive and then some. Good old Jakes Corner on a rainy day. :)

Recent Shoot

2009-01-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

I'm editing a ton of sessions but here are a couple before I post them all. I swear I need to install a tiolet under my butt, a fridge next to my computer and a hose on the ground so I can do all the nessecary things right here since I basically live at my desk.

Busy

2009-01-19T15:29:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy. I've never been this busy in my life. I have been doing shoots, working on my car (I am actually gettting underneath it, inside of it, all over that thing and dirty ha), moving, nanny-ing 3 days a week and editing. Sigh. Its been crazy but things are settling down. I won't get into anything but I will say that moving has been very emotionally trying for me. I know everything will be alright. Its just right now I'm still so overwhelmed and tired and sad all at once. I'll post some exciting stuff soon but for now I thought I would update. :)

Sunday thoughts

2009-01-11T20:14:00.000-08:00

What a day. My mind has been racing. Since the moment I woke up this morning, my brain has been on overdrive. As I was driving down the free-way with Maple, trying to get somewhere as soon as possible, and over-thinking every situation possible all at the same time, my car died. I slowly pulled over and realized that I hadn't even thought to put gas in her. I sat on the side of the freeway just feeling the need to breath DEEP and take in every thing around me for the rest of the day. After putting some gas in my girl, I left feeling more free and dedicated to my advice to myself for the rest of the day. Slow down Lindsey, Slow down. I did a shoot out in Glendale (a.k.a. way too far) and this place truly was meant for me today. :)

My Ryen

2009-01-06T21:22:00.001-08:00

Little Miss Ryen Olivia. She's my breath of fresh air, my skipped heartbeat, my everything. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have this relationship. Her parents are pretty much my best friends and they have hearts of gold. They let me take her for the afternoon. It was just me and her, in my new car, just cruisin around having small talk. She says the most random hilarious things. I loved every word that came out of her beautiful little mouth. Especially "I love you Linds". I can barely even type this without getting all retarded and crying. She's so special. One of my dear friends said something last night after I told her about my day that was so sweet and I can't state it exactly but you get the point..."Isn't it amazing how life just puts you in a spot and when you look at it you know you're exactly where your supposed to be and everything is going to be ok"

I got to tuck her in the night before they left. I put my fingers through her blonde hair, leaned down and layed my head on her chest and told her how much I loved her and how beautiful I wished her dreams to be. Its always hard to leave not only her but her family. They are so amazing and perfect. They let her be anything she wants to be. They encourage her so much. I am so blessed to have been given the chance to know someone so beautiful and perfect. She is my wild little sunflower.

Done!

2009-01-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

I finally finished the Zacarrdi's photos. Take a peek on my photo blog if you want to smile. :)

My Maple.

2009-01-05T19:42:00.000-08:00

Introducing Maple. I finally got my car. I've wanted an older car ever since I can remember. Well, I found her. She's a fully restored 1964 Mercury Comet 404. She is beautiful inside and out. I am so happy. I love you Maple!

WOWEE

2008-12-29T19:53:00.000-08:00

I had the most amazing shoot today. This family blew me away. They were so chill and funny and comfortable to be around... Their style was so classic and vintage in a way And their son (Van) was SO gorgeous. sheesh. Here is a sneek peek and trust me, you'll want more. I'll post some more on my photo blog when I'm finished later this week. Sigh.

Snow!

2008-12-28T19:07:00.000-08:00

So Rob and I decided it would be nice to take Larz to see the snow for the first time. We went up to Strawberry for a few hours. He had so much fun! He kind of flipped out at first but then started getting used to it. Man it was beautiful up there.

blue specks

2008-12-25T21:33:00.000-08:00

There are these little blue specks on my photos when I upload them into my blog but not when you click on them. . sorry.

Larzy Larz

2008-12-25T21:31:00.000-08:00

Oh my little man cub..He's so good at flirting with me.

Family

2008-12-25T21:22:00.000-08:00

Its pathetic, but the only time I get to see my dads side of the family is on holidays. They live really really far. I know, thats a lame excuse. My heart aches for my grandma all of the time, yet I never get in my car and drive to see her. She is such an amazing woman. I love her so very much. My sisters and I are going to go see her every month from now on. I have some time to make up for! On Christmas Eve we went out there to see her, my uncle, which may as well by my dads twin, and my cousins.... all 7 of them. What a beautiful, talented, funny lady my grandmother is. . . how did I come from her? ha

Dear little Sister...

2008-12-21T22:22:00.000-08:00

You radiate beauty beyond what you can see. I love you so much. :) I simply cannot wait to meet my new nephew.

The Andersens.

2008-12-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

This is My best friend Heidi with her family. Her mom is an amazing photographer and has a studio. They are seriously a hilarious family. She once told me that when their mini van was about to hit its 100,000 mark, they all got in the van together and drove around a parking lot in circles until it hit the number and then celebrated. ha. They all dressed up like the characters from harry potter and took some pics in their studio.. She is the girl in all black. I forgot the charaacters name but its freakin hilarious. Really, who does this kind of stuff?

Long day

2008-12-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

Today was a long day. But I loved it. I played with Larz in the backyard. He showed me his melons. (I was jealous) . . He was being so happy and charasmatic for me and my camera. I was trying to get him to wear a hat because it was going to be cold. We were headed out to see some Christmas lights. I put the velcro together on the hat and he couldn't get it off. He freaked out and I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. ha. Poor guy. He loved the lights so much. He was climbing under the ropes to go see up close. He saw sponge bob and wouldn't stop saying his name out loud.

Here comes the sun!

2008-12-18T09:55:00.001-08:00

Little darling I feel that ice is slowly melting,
Little darling it seems like years since it's been clear,
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
It's all right, it's all right. (great Song)

It is finally showing itself. I had to cancel all of my shoots over the weekend and early week. I needed that money but more importantly I think I needed the rain as well. Rain is always so cleansing for me and obviously for the earth. I was sitting outside this morning having some tea. The clouds were just rolling on by and the sun was out. This is my little hang out. Yea for sunshine!

I wish..

2008-12-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here editing with Vh1 on my tv behind me. That Taylor Swift song came on, the romeo and juliet one. I watched the video and can I just say, I want to live where that was shot. jeeeeez. And I'll take that horse ..and the dress. . I don't even need the guy in it. I'll just run around the field alone, sing to myself, twirl in my dress and pet my horse.

Az Skies!

2008-12-15T22:09:00.000-08:00

Besides the fact that its FREEZING here right now and I hate it, the skies have been ridiculous. The other night this was what I got to see. This photo has not been touched AT ALL!!!! Look at the colors! I took a walk with Larzy and he was oooing and aahhing at the sky right along side his mommy.

Pics

2008-12-12T19:08:00.000-08:00

Here's a picture from one of the million shoots I've done this month...sigh. I'm tired. But this is Tashina and Nate. My little sisters friend and now my friend. They were on fire folks! Check out my photo blog for more.

Home

2008-12-09T19:39:00.000-08:00

I've lived here in Gilbert since 1990. I have fallen in love with my outer surroundings. I've been blessed enough to have this view for the last 18 years. I have been in such deep thought lately about my life. I was driving and pulled over to take a deep breath with the help of this view. Standing there watching the birds fly over my head, feeling the breeze through my hair and staring at the mountains stand still like they have for years helped to ground me a bit for the time being. Superstition mountain has always had some magic power over me. I just want to run to it whenever I see it. I love it here. My radio was on and my windows were down...fitting song....

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Spoiled

2008-12-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

Rob spoils Larz. I bring home a ball and a sponge bob doll along with fraggle rock the movie, and a week later Rob brings this home for him. He just sits in there with his favorite pillows and snacks (the mouthful of crackers for example) and watches cartoons. Its like his own little drive in. :)

2008-12-05T08:58:00.001-08:00

Love him.

Trouble maker

2008-12-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

SO anyone who knows me knows that I pretty much could've killed my parents with the amount of stress and worry I've put on them growing up. I take the credit for my dads grey patches of hair entirely. Poor guy. While eating lunch with my sisters and mom yesterday, my mom gave this to me. I couldn't remember the why's, when's or how's of this card. I talked to my friend Heather and she told me all about it. We were going to mexico and decided to get some fake id's. I'm 17 in this photo. I look innocent. And yes folks, that is my natural hair color. I used her brothers girlfriends name but still used my real address. My mom has kept it for all of these years. I'm such a moron.

Mother.

2008-12-01T12:47:00.000-08:00

My mother is the most special woman I know. How am I so lucky to be her daughter? Everyday I strive to be like her. I've observed her over my life, but especially lately now that I have my own family. Her patience is never ending. He eyes are always sparkling. How can you be so happy all of the time mom? How did you raise 6 children? How are you still so in love that I have to turn my head sometimes at your house so I don't have to watch you two k'noodle? How do you still love me unconditionally after everything I've done in my life? How is your garden always so perfect and beautiful? How have you made so many quilts and blankets? YOU are beautiful mom, in every way. When times are hard in my life, I always think of my mother and I know all will be alright. Love you mom.

Beautiful

2008-11-29T07:36:00.000-08:00

I did a wedding the other night. It was my little sisters friend. She was in the bridal party and Kylee was one of the flower girls. It was raining that day and the bride was planning on getting married outside but at the last minute had to move it all inside. It made things a bit difficult for me as far as getting creative out in the rain. I didn't want the bride to get wet or the girls or my camera! So I did what I could. The sun came out and it was spectacular. The lighting was amazing against this huge window. I will post pics of the wedding on my photo blog today or tomorrow but here are some that I took of Adria and Kylee and her unborn male name-less fetus. Isn't she just beautiful?

Gobble Gobble

2008-11-28T15:23:00.000-08:00

Most of our friends with the Exception of John and Laura don't have any family here. So every year we try to get together and have a friend thanksgiving. We did the same this year and had it at our home. Rob was manning the kitchen and the guests while I ran over to my parents with Larz to say hello. I didn't eat over there, I just dropped in to give hugs. We had a great time at our house. I didn't take any pictures though. I was too interested in my giant plate of food! Rob carved the turkey and everyone was sitting down at their spot at the table. He brought it over on a huge glass plate and as he was leaning down to set it on the table the whole plate slid right off of his arms and hands, crashing down onto the table. Some plates shattered along with the turkey plate. There was glass everywhere, turkey everywhere, etc. ha. Poor rob. I felt so bad because he was so proud of his carving job. After we sifted through the food for glass, checked everyone for cuts and salvaged the remaining turkey, we ate. It was delicious. Then we had a poker game and watched a movie. :) I love thanksgiving. I'm thankful for my family and my friends. :)

Luckiest girl in the world.

2008-11-28T07:44:00.001-08:00

I got an email yesterday from my daughter ryen. She said all of this by herself. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the relationship I have with her. Thank you Megan, i love you so much. I just had to share this because I'm so proud and she's so dang cute.

My little Man Cub

2008-11-24T20:44:00.000-08:00

Larz is the center of my world. He is so full of light and love. I thought I would snap some photos of him today while at my moms house. (thanks mom for making him smile) Larz is such a unique little guy. He has so much to say (even though I can't understand a single word he is saying) and his expressions are never ending. He can do the littlest thing and it can make my day complete. There are still times I catch myself trying not to cry when he does something thats wonderful. I just love him more than anyone can understand. He is the perfect blend of Rob and I. He is so special and beautiful. :)

Twilight

2008-11-23T12:00:00.001-08:00

So I saw it this morning. I LOVED it. I've heard so many opinions but mine is all that matters to me and I LOVED every minute of it. Edward oh Edward. Sigh. The characters where perfect and it made me miss Washington. I can't wait to see the next one. I would get right back in my car and go see it again right this second.

dreams

2008-11-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

The other night I dreamt that I was shooting a wedding and right before the ceremony started my camera battery died and I realized that I didn't have a memory card in my camera or batteries in my flash. I tried to stall the bride and she was so mean! ha. I wonder why? I called my mom and dad, balling my eyes out, to see if they could bring it and they hung up on me after telling me never to call their home again. ?? Sometimes when I have big events coming up I dream about something going wrong. It always helps me to prepare way more than I probably would've. I went to Sams club yesterday and bought a HUGE pack of AA batteries and another SD card.

Bandits

2008-11-21T08:02:00.000-08:00

I'm outside in my garage last night pumpin some iron and Rob comes out and askes where his speakers are. I look over at where they were and everything is missing!! I don't know how I didn't realize it before. His huge speakers, radio, tools, cd's, and all of MY cd's (4 cases, including my little brothers that I am watching while he serves a mission,, and his collection was a beautiful one). I've had most of my cds since high school. I took them out so I could get my car washed because I was worried about the carwashing guys jacking them. ha. If I only would've known it was going to happen anyways! The funny thing about this is, they didn't take my beloved beach cruiser, golf clubs, my record player, and more. Our garage is where we hang out and work out and listen to records, etc. I only leave it open if I'm coming and going. I'm so happy they didn't take my bike. I hope Karma bites you in the butt you idiots.

best friends

2008-11-14T12:12:00.000-08:00

These two have been my best friends for 11 years! Isn't that awesome? We meet up with eachother once every other week (or try to) and make dinner for eachother and have funny conversations. We didn't have our kids so we busted out the boom box and danced around the house. We are still crazy and love to have a good time. Somehow the camera got involved along with the pool table. I just love these girls so much. I don't know what I would do without them.

3 years!

2008-11-11T07:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Anniversary to us! 3 years. I love you babe.

Beautiful World.

2008-11-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

Today I am full of love and gratitude for my sight. I feel so lucky to have seen the things I've seen and SO lucky to have gone to some of the places I have gone. I had the most amazing yoga session last night. I meditated so deeply. More than usual. I found myself in a silent snowy landscape. There were glaciers and the water looked like glass. I wasn't cold at all. Everything was so clear and quiet and amazingly beautiful and it was just me myself and I enjoying it all. Then the instructor pulled me out of there and made everyone snap out of it. I wasn't happy. But I just feel good today. Well, besides my abs. ouch.