thick

I'm feeling my veins sinking deeper into my skin in such a way that its comforting. I feel real and alive and raw. The need to take off full speed inside of a forest is ever so thick. Maybe I'll sit for a while and listen to my breath or count my arm hairs. Who knows. I want to be a hermit crab for while. I want to grow my hair out really long and paint my lips blood red. who cares. I think I'll throw my jewelry away too. Who needs it. I feel spring coming. I feel the change. Maybe I'll hide behind the pages of a good book or two. What is everything adding up to? Does there have to be an equation to every situation. I think I'll finally play my banjo. I think I'm ready to pull her out of her case after six long years. I decided that I don't like holidays. They are artificial and pointless. Can we not find anything better to do then that nonsesne? Especially valentines day. I don't eat chocolate and I don't like picked flowers anymore. Id rather have them rooted in a photo. I don't care for steak or small talk. I need a deep deep river of conversation. The kind that makes you heated and so calm and tired. Where are you? ?
I want to wear dresses for the rest of the year. I bought a couple the other day at an antique shop and I think I may keep them on consistently. who cares. why does everyone care about so many insignificant things? You are here for god knows how long and you care about this and that?!? I think its time to shed some skin and let the sun take me away. bye.