I was watching True life on Mtv the other day and it was about girls who were pregnant and possibly placing their babies for adoption. I always have a hard time watching those kinds of things because I've been through it but thats why I like watching them. Its real and I like to see others stories. In this case there were two girls. both young and unmarried and lost in life. One girl was pretty set on it but once she had the baby everything changed. I understood exactly what she felt and felt for her. She kept the baby for a week or so and then decided to place her. It is an open adoption and she sees her every other week. Lucky duck. :) Seeing the moment of her handing her daughter over made me cry my big eyes out. I didn't even know this girl and I was so proud of her for doing it. She went on to go to school and her life was beautiful and her daughter was still a part of it. The other girl was also planning to place but the father wasn't for it. He didn't have a job and lived with his parents with his child from a previous relationship. The girl chose a couple and got to know them. Her boyfriend somehow talked her out of it and she had the baby and farely soon after having her she left. She left the couple broken hearted and most importantly, she left her daughter. I was so freakin mad at this girl I could've broken the tv screen. It showed her having a smoke and living with friends and just not caring and saying how she just isn't ready to be a mom. I was dumbfounded. That little girl could've had a family who loved her and showed her family values and now she is stuck with a dead beat dad and no mother. I felt so bad for the baby. And I was so angry with that mother for being so selfish. anyways. Just thought I would vent a bit.

my little tank.

update

I am busy covering him in kisses and laughing at his wanna be sentences. He is busy strumming his nostril while he holds the other one shut playing his self made music. Genius. The weather is turning and my soul is trying to jump out of my body and run to the rivers. Or should I say float? Hopefully my soul would be the kind to skip joyfully from point a to point b without this shell of a body it lives in. :) Larz is the size of a 3 year old with the strength of a 10 year old. He cal lift anything. I have weights in the living room and he is always picking the 3lbs up and lifting them up and down like mommy. He's my little giant. He is getting used to being with mommy and then going with daddy, which I was worried about. He sometimes cries when we trade and it hurts. I never wanted it to be this way but its for the best.

He can sing the whole intro to sponge bob all by himself. His words are not clear but man he tries. His arm swings make up for it. We were jamming out yesterday in my car and I changed the radio station. That song by pink was on and he yelled "no!" so I changed it to classic rock and he smiled and started doing his shoulder moves. Thats my boy. classic rock till I die!

I'm so busy with photography its insane. I finally got my LLC and tax number business account, bla bla bla. SO I'm official and theres no hiding now. ha. I dont mean to sound big headed but I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come. I remember almost 5 years ago I was just getting started with this whole hobby and now I'm where I'm at, doing it for a living I"ve learned so much and that never stops.

The time is just around the corner to release. The trees are blooming, the sun is warming, and the rivers are waiting. I always get so excited this time of the year. Soon I will be running through fields of aspen trees in my long dresses, floating on my back down a river, laying in an ocean of waist high grass and laughing with my friends on the front porch of a cabin where the wind chimes are the loudest I've ever heard them. I love the summer.

shoot with Maple

So I feel like a nerd posting these but I LOVE them so much! Like I said before, I have never done a shoot really and it was so much fun! I acutally look like a normal human being and not like the mutant that I am in my mind. ha. I brought my favorite vintage clothes and they were exactly what this shoot needed. Thank you Jaquie for doing such a beautiful job. Love you mermaid. :)

Me and my Maple

I did a photo shoot with my car yesterday. I have never been on the other end of the camera and I thought I would hate it but I loved it. I brought some of my favorite vintage dresses and went out by the super stition mountains. My friend Jaquie took them and she's amazing! we had so much fun. here are two to preview and LOTS more to come!

30 days baby

I bought this a few days ago and I love it. I consider myself to be in good shape but I've always wanted to tone my buns and my stomach after having 2 kids. This program kicks my butt! Its only 20 minutes of your whole entire life. i've done it consistanly and i feel my stomach tightening and my arms getting stronger. I can't wait to see the results when I'm done. woo hoo!

Green Thumb

I was over at my parents house this afternoon playing outside with Larz while my mom was picking out her ripe carrots from her garden, my dad was leaf blowing and my little brother was shoveling up dirt to start a new area for more produce for my mom. I love being over there this time of the year. My mom has tons of different kinds of flowers all over the place. They have every kind of fruit tree you could want and jasmine growing all around the fence. There are wind chimes everywhere and in the back there are my mothers gardens. Anything you want or need, she's got it. And shes goooood at it too. She has a major green thumb and I'm envious because everything I plant dies. ha ha. I picked out my favorite carrots and took them with me. I pulled my mom aside and told her that when her and my dad get old and die, I want the house. She laughed with her hands covered in dirt. I love her so much. I really do want their house. Who wouldn't want a huge yard, fruit trees, gardens and to top it off they have a restaurant booth in their kitchen for crying out loud. Anyways. I love the way my mom lives her life. Its so beautiful and I hope I can be like her at 50.

chuckle

I should be in this instead of this guy. I love starbursts and would love to have one fed to me by a llama. sigh. so funny.

oh my heartbreaker

He is my light in this life. I'm sitting her editing and he walks up with a bowl on his head and a smile on his face. He's talking so much. He was sitting here eating and he said "done mommy!" and then said "wanna go outside!". I couldn't help but eat his face for a minute after that. Oh lord I love this child. He's constantly saying "hi!" and waving to anyone and everyone. He says mommy so much and its so amazing to hear. (sometimes I don't want to hear it anymore after a long day) ha. I was driving the other day and he yelled at me so I told him to be nice in a low tone. . he then yelled "I WANT DADDY!" I love you my beautiful little man cub.

4whln

I didn't have a shoot this last sunday and my friend Jaquie was is town so we went 4 wheeling. I hadn't been in so long. Her husbands uncle lives right by me and the queen creek wash is right behind his house. He has like 15 quads and boats, etc. I got the quad called "grampa". But it hauled to me. I was scared. It was good to be out in the sun with the wind in my hair. I'll post some stuff about Larz soon. I promise.