Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I got to see my daughters dad, Sonny this morning. He called me to tell me he was in town and wanted to see me and give me a present for mothers day. Well this is what I got and I freakin love it. Megan, Ryens mom has amazing taste and she just knows me way too well. ha. Its an old vintage dress in mint condition and its silky and fits like a glove. How does she do that? Well, thank you so much my love. You're amazing. And thanks SOnny for coming over to see me. Love you guys way too much.  

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

For she's a jolly good fellow!!!!!

One of my best friends since high school is a genuis. She has been in Holland for the last 7 months finishing up school. She just got back and graduated with a masters degree. I am SOO proud of her. Beyond proud. Well she got home and we all threw a suprise party for her with all of her closest friends and family. She was shocked when she came threw the door. It was pricelss. That turned into a pool party and that was a blast. All of the girls went country dancing because thats just what we like to do. WE had a blast there too. And then we went to the lake on Sunday with her parents and had so much fun together. I was too chicken to get up on a wake board. I am naturally clutzy so I knew the end of that story. I stuck with the tube. And that scared the crap out of me. Then we celebrated some more at Jacquie's bothers house and danced our pretty behinds off. I loved the Weekend of Julia!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I am in a very strange mental spot right now. . Life has taken a hold of me and wrapped me in its whirlwind of confusion and frustration for the moment. I am in the middle of moving, shooting on a daily basis, and watching a little boy 3 days a week along with larz. I have always had it good. I have always had days where I say "what should I do today?" Those days are long gone and substituted with an overwhelming schedule. Some days I want to give up and lay in bed all day and tell Larz to give himself a bath and get himself dressed..I want to command my computer to edit all of my photos and respond to my full inbox... But my burning desire to succeed and be a successull single mother is too powerful to let me lay my head down. It is SO hard being a mom. Almost everyday it is hard for me. He is two and all over the place. I can't turn my back for one minute without something happening. Its hard to get everything done that is waiting to be done with him around. But having him around is what makes me happy. He's all I have. He's all I need. And he needs me and he's reliying on me to be his teacher. I ask myself everyday "How in the world am I a mother?.....I shouldn't be aloud to do this" ha. But I'm doing it dang it.

After a long day of moving another load, unpacking, trying to bribe him to eat, sleep, and just plain be a good boy for mommy, it was his bed time. After the fifth time of hearing his door creek open after putting him down I decided to lay with him. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to adjust to having mom here and dad there and this house and then that house. I always forget about how he feels.. I stopped myself from getting mad at him for not going to bed and just layed with him. the night light was on in the corner, lighing up his beautiful blue eyes. There were no sounds from either of us, just the soothing ground fan in the background. He got as close as possible to me and we both layed on our sides facing eachother. He grabbed my hand and held it and looked up at me. He stared at me with such a peaceful expression. When I would smile a little at him he would smile back. When I closed my eyes he reached over and put his little hand on my face to tell me to open them back up so he could stare at me. This silent staring contest went on for about 20 minutes..I carressed his face to help his tired eyes rest. He let go of my hand and grabbed a peice of my hair and put it around his little fingers and leaned in and gave me a kiss. Without letting my hair go, he softly closed his eyes. He looked alot like he did when he was first born at that moment. Simply beautiful and mine. I fell in love with him all over again tonight. Days are beyond hard with my little man cub, but when its all said and done, he's meant for me and I'm meant for him. . Goodnight.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

My girfriends son turned 2 yesterday and she had an awesome party for him. The pictures tell it all. ha. I love my Larzy.  

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Friday, May 8, 2009


He had stickers stuck all over him from playing with his cousin kylie. He passed out right when I started driving. those two are hilarious together.

Dave Matthews

My girl friend Aurora called me later in the day and said "hey, wanna go see Dave play tonight? I have an extra ticket and its free" I almost jumped out of my skin with excitement. "uh, yes please!!!" I love Dave Matthews. I was interested to see who would take over the sax since Leroi passed away. Well whoever it was, he was amazing. We took this before the show. I was so stoked to leave I couldn't keep still. ha. the concert was amazing. I wore this one piece jump suit and it was probably the best thing ever invented. You cant get better than goucho's (sp?) and a tube top combined in one and made out of towel like material. She wore this crazy asain looking rice pickers hat. Only Rori. ha Anyways. I was dancing all over the sea of people. I lost my shoes somewhere along my dancing trail. So did Rori. She was all over the place. At teh end they came out for the encor and they played the watchtower but at the end of it they somehow tied in the jimmy page solo from stairway to heaven. When that happened I almost pooped my pants. It was incredible.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

tear jerker

I found this blog today and the woman is very open with her adoption story. She is so full of love its unreal. Its the cutest blog and they are truly amazing people. Her best friend (the fairy god mother) made this for them when they were about to become parents. http://bohemiangirldesigns.blogspot.com/ I love stories like this one.

Slice of Heaven

A couple of months ago I decided it was a good idea to set one day aside in the future to go on an adventure for myself. Well I set the 2nd aside and even though I could've scehduled a shoot and made some money on that day, I kept my promise to myself. and oh boy am I glad I did! I have been so busy lately and I don't seem to have enough time for it all. I have lost a little of myself somewhere in this photography strangulation. ha. Some of my friends and I drove to fossill springs and hiked the whole way in. I had never been to the actual springs, only the creek. No hiking, just park and relax type of thing. This was totally different. It was a very long hike with unbelievable views. I felt like I was back at Anasazi again. ha. I was in awe the entire time. Once we reached the water I just couldn't take it anymore. But we weren't to our destination yet. Then you heard it. The waterfall. SIIIGGGHHHH. It was so amazing. We hiked down near it to meet our friends already laying out on rocks and playing with the dog. It was so amazing. I was so happy. Going under the giant waterfall was unreal. It was so loud and powerful. The hike out couldn't of been longer. After the 4th mile I wanted to jump right off the cliff and say screw it. Once I reached the car I was so proud of this lazy sack of bones.

Monday, May 4, 2009

You all know that I love my parents house and yard. Even getting out of my car today I was overwhelmed by the jasmine and its powerful aroma roaring through my nostrils, along with every other flowery scent..It was a delicious thing. I did a little shoot there today for a 1 year old (who was simply perfect). When her mom got out of the car she went on about the smell and the beauty and then asked if my parents did all of the landscaping alone. I laughed and then turned to my mom and told her and she laughed. They are probably the only people left that do it all alone and love it. It shows. But before that I took a picture of one of the hundreds of flowers my mother cares for and loves. Sigh. Thumbs up mom. Martha Stuart aint got nothin on you! ha.

Growing up.

Dude can I be ANY busier?!!!! Sheesh. I have some catching up to do. But first and foremost, I need to do a shout out to my little ray of sunshine. She turned 6 yesterday. I can't believe that. Its seems like yesterday when she was kicking me in my ribs, making me pee 10 times a night and making me eat 5 bowls of honeycombs a day. ha. She changed my life and she owns my heart. I am so lucky to have such a beautiful soul in my life. I think she wanted to go to the woods or something for her birthday so her parents took her! They are so awesome. I called their house yesterday to wish her a happy birthday and I got the answering machine. When it beeped I started crying and I could barely talk. I'm such a boob. I just love my little peach so much. Happy Birthday Ryen Olivia, my sweet little sunflower.

Here is a photo her mom sent me from her bday. Thanks Meg, I love you. (I stole this collage from her moms page. Its cute)