Monday, July 6, 2009

I am full of raw emotion and an overwhelming desire to run wild through the forest. ..as usual. I Bathed in the moonlights rays last night with the wind all around me in the desert. . . . I let my thoughts run wild, as well as my hair. I felt like flying in my sea of peace that was unraveling before me, spinning in circles..spreading out my arms and making my shadow on the desert floor known..taking over the night sky and never coming down...The air was cool and my heart was open. My soul automatically soaks in things like this so much its insane.. ..Man I really wanted to fly....

My life is my own. Existence is purpose. Progression is natural. Lessons are learned so progression is more possible.

I am so consumed with this life and the expectations of it all. It's enough to drive an old soul like mine straight into the ground. Things should be simple, beautiful, delicate. I am finding that they are none of the above lately.

I am being pulled to my limit and my eyes are opening. I am finding more lindsey juice in this old bag of bones and its strong and ready to fight. But what battle do I want to fight if any? The battle to be successful or the battle to be content, happy, and simple like I have always been. ??? random. random thoughts.

I want to take a break. Live in a simple home somewhere in the woods, preferably next to running water. I want to read as much as I can, write until my hands break.... take pictures with my 45 Polaroid of things that don't have opinions like leaves and their beautiful veins and trees.... make lentil soup... pick at my banjo barefoot in a meadow of some kind....stare at larz while he plays with rocks by the water and sing him to sleep...grow my hair out long and remember how dumb it REALLY is to wear labels of any kind...Let my heartache thats deep inside oooze out into the forest ground to be replaced with peace and contentment....focus on nature with my photography like I've always wanted to do, that is the reason I started doing it in the first place...hang my clothes on line and play hide and seek with my man cub....the list could go on and on. What can I say? I'm a day dreamer.

5 comments:

Craig and Elaine Burdett Family said...

Oh Lindsey how I know how you feel, if only, if only.

JILLC said...

That sounds wonderful Lindsey. lately you post a lot about how overworked you are. I hope you do get to give yourself a little break to heal your heart and your mind and come to some peace. Your work will always be waiting for you when you are done taking care of you for a change instead of everyone else. It will be waiting for you because it is fabulous and you are extremely talented and gifted. If/when you feel your craft and your work starts to suffer from your schedule, your heartache or your longing for peace, that is when you will know it is time to take a short break to work on you... good luck. (your blog posts are like poetry to me...)

Tifani said...

Oh I love that. Your thoughts are beautiful and I can picture everything. I would love to live in the woods by a river. Maybe one day! You could park a camper in our backyard and steal away for quiet moments in nature. Or you could have the house and we could park our camper in your backyard. Anyhow...you'll get there some day. Keep dreaming! A dream is a just a goal that hasn't been written down.

Love Cami. said...

you are so amazing! I love reading anything you write, i feel like im there.

and im really sorry about your heal! let me know if i can do anything to help... including helping you shoot. :(

Allie & Cali said...

can i come?